Last night was my first experience of social nudism, or (my preferred term) naturism. The odyssey I took in order to arrive at such a previously-unthinkable place as a pool full of nude men and women requires some background in order to explain. I hope it isn't too tedious! :-) In any event, here goes:

As recently as six weeks ago, I wouldn't have given naturism a second thought. I had never particularly had a desire to swim or hike nude, or hang around the house unclothed. It wasn't an impulse that was "instinctive" or at all compelling with me. Whether learned or unlearned, it just wasn't there, and wasn't an "issue." At the most, I guess I would say that I've always had a fascination with, or curiosity about public, anomalous nudity, such as occurred at Woodstock, or with streaking, the impulsive naked-running fad which peaked when I was in high school. I would think, "How can they do that?" or, "Why do they do it?" But I don't think I ever considered doing such things myself.

I came to espouse the philosophy of naturism almost on a purely cerebral level (which is how I tend to approach a lot of things). I've undergone many "conversions" in my life, so that in itself was nothing new; most notably to Catholicism, after a background of various religious beliefs. I've always hoped that I was open to new truths and paths if I became convinced that they were objectively *true* and good and beneficial. I am not a moral or philosophical relativist. So it was very important to me to become convinced that nudism was "okay," especially from a Christian (Catholic) perspective from which I order my life and view the world and the universe - not just for *me,* but for *anyone.*

The first thing which made me curious about naturism was learning that a good friend of mine had frequented nude beaches in California. I had never known a nudist (or even someone who simply visited a "clothing-optional" beach), so this came as somewhat of a shock, and my reaction to it was perplexing to me. As I thought about it, I knew that I didn't regard nudity per se as "evil." That is not a permissible option within a Christian framework, which holds that creation is good, and that matter and the human body and sex (within proper limits) are good. The denial of that is found in Gnosticism, or in some forms of monistic eastern religion, not in Christianity (apart from certain warped, truncated versions of it). I realized that so many great masterpieces of art involved nudity, and that there was an altogether legitimate nude photography and portraiture which was qualitatively different from pornography. E.g., who doesn't admire Michelangelo's magnificent sculpture of David? Who would dare be asinine enough to put a giant pair of Fruit of the Loom(r) briefs on it? :-) There are, of course, also many paintings of the Virgin Mary breast-feeding Jesus.

So basically, I became extremely curious about naturism. I started seeking out websites in order to learn more about it, to "soak" in the mindset. Then eventually, I was directed by my friend to online forums in which I could post messages and chat live with other naturists. So one day (a mere three weeks ago) I posted a message which was an inquiry, with hopes of possibly being convinced of naturism, or else becoming persuaded in my own mind, on the other hand, that it was not a morally defensible viewpoint. I had to resolve it one way or the other. I shall quote from that post, in order to illustrate how I thought about the issue just a short time ago:

". . . Nudism intrigues me in part because I see it as a profound sort of "nonconformism," and I have always been a nonconformist in one way or another. I always respect the willingness to "go against the grain" and transcend mere custom and the status quo . . .

". . . [but] I don't see how nudity can be *totally disconnected* from sexuality. I can grant (never having experienced it, but from reading some of the nudist literature, and observing certain cultures) that this could happen to a large extent, but it's hard for me to accept that it can be a total "disjunction." I think it is self-evident that virtually all men are visually stimulated by female nudity. By virtue of this fact, we have almost all female nudity in movies, sex used in advertising in order to capitalize on this fact, flirting and seduction and manipulative game-playing which presuppose it, Playboy and Penthouse, topless bars, Internet pornography, etc.

"Now, how can it be that the sight of dozens of nude women could *not* be sexually arousing in a normal, red-blooded man like myself? Ironically, I would say at this point that naturism strikes me "prima facie" as UNnatural, since it seems to go against what appears *eminently natural* to me: being aroused by the opposite sex. I believe that's how God created men (in order to propagate the human race!). I get very aroused by my wife when she is nude, and by many pictures of other nude women. Wrong or right, our culture almost always associates nudity with sexuality . . .

"So how is it that nudists can "rise above" all that? Is it simply a matter of *dissociation*: after a few experiences it becomes clear that group nudity, sunbathing, hot-tubbing, etc. is NOT sexual, so that those impulses simply lessen and disappear? It is very curious and strange to me......I read some piece in here that distinguished between sexual and sensual. Perhaps that might be the key to this.....

"Also, I would never underestimate the power of male lustfulness. Again, I think almost all men struggle with this constantly. And indeed, women rightly complain about being reduced to sexual objects because of this shortcoming in us frail men . . . I think it is unarguable that men in particular can easily fall into lustfulness (which is definitely a serious sin in Christian thought) at the sight of a nude or scantily-clad female body. Now are you experienced nudists gonna deny that this is a factor at all? If so, that would be quite remarkable to me, and it would take a lot of persuading to convince me otherwise. I would say that nudism, due to this and other factors, is an activity that must be undertaken with great self-reflection as to motive and purpose, lest it become a "front" for lust and even "conquest" . . .

"I'm very attracted to beautiful women, and that includes inner beauty as well as outer (oftentimes predominantly so). I think the female body is extraordinarily beautiful, from a purely aesthetic standpoint. At the same time, I don't wish to treat women as mere objects, and this is always the temptation in a sex-crazed society such as ours. Most men will immediately understand what I am talking about. It is simply a fact of life.

". . . Let me tell you what does appeal to me very much about naturism, as an "outsider" looking in: I am very attracted to the notion that group nudity eliminates the frantic obsession our society has with body type, and with acceptance and affection due to mere outward appearance. Nudism (from what I understand of it) is a profoundly egalitarian and deeply "Christian" activity in that regard. People become truly equal on a very basic, fundamental level and are thus freed from the tyranny of personal appearance. And perhaps this even leads to an appreciation of various body types not considered "attractive" by our society. I would imagine that this is particularly attractive to women, who have it drummed into them their whole lives that they must look like supermodels or be thought less of and regarded as "undesirable."

"Secondly, I very much like the notion of freedom and lack of inhibition (i.e., as opposed to rampant sex and promiscuity, which I strongly oppose): the idea of running naked in the fields, getting back to nature, or (metaphorically) to the Garden of Eden. There is a certain simplicity and "naturalism" to that which appeals to me very much (and I would like to try it, I think) . . . Is it as simple as that? Does this get at some of the core motivation and reasoning and feeling and instincts behind nudism/naturism?"

So one can see that I was already "halfway there" at the time I wrote this. My primary remaining difficulties were two things:

1) it is unnatural and almost impossible to see and physically be present with (many) nude women and not be sexually stimulated and incited towards lustfulness.
2) the inconceivability of a more or less total dichotomy between nudity and sexuality.

This was where dialogue and more reading became crucial. I started talking to naturists in chat rooms and corresponding via e-mail, and they would repeatedly affirm that the above two concerns of mine were falsehoods in the nudist environment. I would keep saying, "I'll just have to experience it to believe it." I had no reason to disbelieve what everyone was unanimously telling me. They seemed sincere enough, and this was their own experience. But it was just so remarkable, so implausible to me . . . By the same token, the delightful reports of "first experiences" intrigued me to such an extent that I found myself unable to resist the compulsion to try it, and find out first-hand what all these very friendly, unpretentious naturists were telling me. My curious nature simply wouldn't allow me to refuse the experience. There was no turning back now . . .

I wrote to one of my new friends:

"I am becoming increasingly intrigued. This is a very interesting journey for me, sort of an adventure, since it is so different from my usual way of thinking. But I find myself unable to argue against it. I read some very good materials on the NLI site which defended nudism from a Catholic perspective (that's what I am), and I must say the writer (Jim Cunningham) did an *excellent* job. Very impressive."

To another naturist respondent to my inquiry letter I wrote:

"There is a refreshing honesty and openness about nudists which is very attractive indeed. I was always one who despised posing and game-playing of all sorts. How can one resist trying this? It is such a novelty to us "first-timers," but the way it is described is so inviting. Naturism is truly a revolution in the consciousness of appearance and self-image (at least from the perspective of the society we live in). Even my wife surprisingly agreed when I talked to her about it one night (although she is not likely to do it herself - long story). How often do staunch opponents (i.e., wrt themselves) change their minds, I wonder?"

Meanwhile, I was reading Catholic and other forms of Christian perspectives on nudism and discovering many amazing things, such as that the early Church for hundreds of years baptized men, women and children together in the nude, and priests even anointed them with oil from head to toe! Obviously, then, social nudity itself (even including touch) couldn't be regarded as evil or impermissible. Somewhere along the line, a different notion of modesty, more related to clothing (rather than based on inner attitudes, as in the Sermon on the Mount: Matthew 5-7), came in, but it couldn't be that nudity per se was evil.

After all, God commanded Isaiah the prophet to prophesy naked for three years (Isaiah 20:2-3). Interestingly, when Adam and Eve first made clothes for themselves (the fabled "fig leaves"), it is to be noted that these were "loincloths." In other words, Eve was still topless! (Genesis 3:7). Even in the infamous episode of King David's adultery with Bathsheba, it is apparent that public bathing on a rooftop was a ho-hum occurrence (2 Samuel 11:2). That in itself was never condemned by God or the biblical writers. Clearly, it was David's lustfulness and adultery with a married woman (even having her husband Uriah killed) which was the sin. But the public nudity was not a sin, and in fact, such nudity or semi-nudity was common and accepted even in ancient Israel, a culture commonly regarded as "sexually repressive." Ancient Jewish religious bathing or "cleansing" rituals were performed in the nude, and there is good reason to believe that Jesus was baptized in the nude. There is even an excellent quotation from Pope John Paul II to the effect that all social nudity is not wrong, provided that lust is not present. I had seen a photograph of the pope in a gathering where a topless woman was present, and there are also reports that the pope swims nude in the Vatican pool!

So gradually, I came to accept the notion that nudity does not necessarily equal sexuality. No one could take that view any longer, knowing these facts, and also the universal reports of naturists who have first-hand experience. Furthermore, in countries such as Germany and Japan, not to mention "primitive" cultures, such nudity is so routine that it is fully as "natural" as wearing clothes is in our culture. America in particular has a huge hang-up about nudity. American culture is so over-sexed and suffused with sex that no one can imagine nudity in any other way. I myself was a "victim" of this mentality. How sad . . . And I should have known better, too. Religious and secular ethical views and societal norms about sex and when it is wrong are one thing, but that is a different proposition from the consideration of nudity in and of itself, because the two are not in fact identical, no matter how much our media-driven culture equates them. Nudity is NOT wrong.

I wrote, when I was almost-persuaded:

"I can't believe I'm even pursuing this,but it fascinates me to no end, the way you folks describe nudism. It must be a very remarkable experience, since it seems to have the captivating power of creating instant and lasting converts, even those who were very reluctant."

Now I was actively seeking a place to have my initial naturist experience. The only remaining barrier was my fear of my own personal reaction - that I would be sexually aroused at the sight of so many nude women. I could only go by my experience in clothed society, and with my wife. Yet, I was being told that this was something "other" - that such reactions rarely do occur. So it took some doing to convince myself that this was indeed the case. It took courage to "boldly go where (I) had never gone before...." But I did it, attending by myself last night, and I now testify that what I had been told is absolutely true. Commonly, it was said by naturists that one adjusts to being naked together with others in public in 10-20 minutes. For me it was almost an instant feeling of naturalness and ease. Maybe that was because I had thought about it so much and gotten myself used to the idea by a sort of "self-indoctrination" for a few weeks.

I walked into the pool room and remember seeing flesh and nude bodies all around, not yet differentiated into male and female in my mind's eye. I wondered what I would think and feel when I started seeing the nude female bodies closer up; if I would get nervous and appear visibly so. But I soon did see women and it was "nothing." One was about ten feet away from me, playing in the water, breasts exposed, and I thought to myself, "why is this such a big deal, anyway? It *isn't* that big of a deal." Then I saw nude women and men diving into the pool, thoroughly enjoying themselves.

I quickly realized that the conversation is free and easy, unpretentious, wholly lacking the sexually-charged and manipulative nature that often occurs in male-female personal encounters, where one or both are out to "get" something or to "conquer." All in all, the experience was almost anti-climactic. Whatever jitters I had driving out quickly dissipated. It is natural to be nervous about any totally new event in one's life, but that went away almost immediately.

Here was a place where, truly, all the nonsense and painful burdens of body-type-as-worthiness and women-as-sex-objects was transcended. And I loved it. I was so happy that this realization was actually possible and practiced somewhere in this world. It most assuredly was NOT a "sexual environment." In fact it was infinitely less so than what routinely takes place at a typical non-nude beach, where all sorts of seduction, head games, and conscious tempting goes on, fueled by the deliberately provocative beachwear.

So even when I actually went, I reveled in the thinking and the philosophy behind naturism. Not that I didn't enjoy the physical experience . . . I backstroked across the pool twice, and enjoyed the smaller warm, bath-like pool (it was heavenly), talked to people as normally as in any other social situation. People were simply enjoying themselves in the nude. They were rejecting all the claptrap that society puts on nudity and cross-gender interaction, and becoming as children, with all the freedom and relaxation that that entails. We've all seen that children think nothing of nudity. My three boys love to take baths together and run nude around the house after they come out. Why can't we adults learn to accept the same perfectly innocent behavior? It's weird when you think about it . . .

One semi-humorous thing comes to mind: the pool where I went was at a YMCA, and their rules require them to have a lifeguard for every 20 people. Thus, there were two clothed female lifeguards there. It turns out that one later said that she had been to nude beaches, so it wasn't such a novelty for her. I didn't know whether this was a "first-time" experience for the other lifeguard. But I felt somewhat embarrassed to walk in front of the two lifeguards, because they were in a "different category." I felt that they would "stare" at me, or feel uncomfortable themselves, unlike the others (where that does NOT occur at all - nudists always look each other in the eye). I found that curious and a little amusing, but it makes sense when you think about it. The ease and comfort come when all are in the same boat - everyone is nude. Being nude in a clothed context or vice versa is what is strange and uncomfortable. Even so, I worked up the gumption to walk in front of one later on. :-)

On a related note, I noticed one woman who started the night out in a full bathing suit (the only one clothed besides the lifeguards). She later emerged from it completely nude within an hour. She had felt the liberation, the innocence of social nudity, and the absurdity of wearing clothes into the water. I felt very happy for her, knowing that I was only a small step ahead of her in my own progression to naturism. We don't wear clothes in the shower or when taking a bath. Why, then, in a pool or lake?

So I swam and played and talked and was perfectly at ease. The people were very friendly. When they asked me later what it felt like the first time, what immediately sprang to mind was "natural." And that is what it all boils down to: simply being *natural* and enjoying one's body and the pleasures of water and swimming and floating (and, if outside, sun and wind and sand) without any hindrance: whether physical or psychological or from false moral objection (as the case may be). It is a beautiful, wondrous thing. And it must be experienced to be fully understood. It is a revolution in consciousness. Yet in and of itself, it is a very elementary notion and activity. The "revolution" is the result of having to unlearn a bunch of arbitrary norms and false fears and associations that our culture has brainwashed us all into. I hope all the non-naturists reading this will likewise become intrigued by the inherent appeal of social nudity, as I was.

To top it off, when I came home and told my wife about it, I eventually discovered to my utter amazement that she had come around to the place of being willing to try social nudism herself. She already had no moral objection (which also surprised me at the time). Her difficulty (as is the case - sadly but understandably - with so many women) was in working through matters of self-image and body-image and some very painful related experiences in her own background. This is not an objective matter (she is an attractive woman, by any criteria), but a subjective, very personal, emotional one. She has come to realize in talking with me, that public nudity (in the right naturist environment) is a way and means to transcend that, and to feel better about oneself, to rise above the "tyranny of image and body type." I think she knows that this is the route to her being truly self-fulfilled and enjoying life to the fullest. I never would have thought in a million years that she would even consider this, but it is true! Maybe that can encourage others who have a non-naturist spouse or mate. Not everyone can be convinced, by any means, but it is surprising how many supposed "unthinkables" might be persuaded if the outlook is reasonably and enthusiastically presented in a non-coercive fashion.

This, then, is my odyssey towards naturism and my first experience of it. I encourage all seekers and open-minded people to pursue this, and to be pleasantly surprised that life has something else wonderful to offer which is hindered only by false inhibitions, based on faulty, warped thinking and demonstrably untrue fears. I challenge you to try it just once, and I guarantee that you will never be the same.

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